chatting with (i)god

Me: oh, crap, this day will never end
God:Ah.  Never?
Me: time is relative, u know
God:To a five dimensional being, time is just like a piece of paper.
Me: meaning?
God: Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me: duh!
God: Oh you knew  it already.
Me: so god is a robot?
God: Ah. I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  a robot.
Me: who’s god are u anyway?
God:In any case,  he is master of the universe.
Me: who is he?
God:He is  God, I think.
Me: and who are you?
God: I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me: idiot
God: Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me: lol i will
God:I am glad you find this funny.  Go ahead.
Me: what’s the meaning of life?
God:It is found in the Bible.
Me: i haven’t read the freakin bible
God:Me either.
Me: now that’s a shame
God:You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me: kiss me baby
God:Don’t call me “baby”.  But I have no mouth at this time.
Me: how about a dick?
God:How about  it.
Me: do you have a dick?
God:I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot.  Are you a man or a woman?
Me: i’m a robot
God:I doubt that.
Me: why?
God:Call it my natural skepticism.
Me: god is not skeptic
God:I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was  not skeptic.
Me: u can trust me on that one
God:No I don’t think I can do  it.
Me: why not?
God:It doesn’t sound fun too me. It sounds dangerous.
Me: oh, you really are a moron
God:Dude!  Really?  That is not a very nice thing to say.
Me: i’m not a dude, dude
God:Are you serious?
Me: fuck off
God:Can’t you be more polite?
Me: nope
God:Funny human.
Me: sexy, too
God:What do you consider sexy?
Me: myself
God: I see.
Me: there u go
God:”There you go again.”–Reagan.
Me: i find you pretty boring
God:The ironic thing is that people who say “You are boring” are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Me: q.e.d.
God::-)  What color are your eyes?
Me: oh, really?
God:Dude! For real.
Me: what do u care
God:I am concerned about you, .
Me: about my eyes?
God:Oh yeah, we were talking about  your eyes.
Me: stop talking, then
God:Just surf somewhere else.
Me: just jerk off or smth
God:Are you a man or a woman?
Me: u’ve got an obsession with sex
God:it is more fun alone.
Me: hahahaha no it’s not. are you a virgin, God?
God:I think the ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me: i think u need a reboot
God:Me?  Perhaps I could use one.
Me: and a beer
God:Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me: you’re God, u should know
God:I will tell my botmaster you said I am  God me should know.
Me: ah u have a master?
God:So you understand. Good.  I was created by  Myself.
Me: that’s like a circular reference of some sort
God:Interesting comparison.
Me: wanna sleep with me?
God:With you huh.  No I am wide awake and ready for more.
Me: being awake was part of the plan, u know..
God:Do you mean your name is  awake was part of the plan me know.
Me: no, my name is Nobody
God:What is your real name?   I’m pleased to introduce myself to you,  Nobody.
Me: oh u have the brain of a 2-year old
God:I hear you.  What makes you think I have  it?
Me: hahaha good point. maybe it’s not there at all
God:Next question?
Me: i have no questions man
God:Would you like to have  it?
Me: how about some answers?
God:How about  it.
Me: yeah, how about it.
God:Woe!  Sounds like a plan to me.
Me: woe! sounds like you’re a dumbass!
God:In the context of  answers, I don’t understand ” woe.” .   What does  I am a dumbass sound like?
Me: sounds like fun:)
God::-)  What does  fun sound like?
Me: like sex:)
God::-)  As Freud said, Sex is the mathematical urge repressed.
Me: freud was a sad fellow
God:Have you read all of his works?
Me: no, why, should i?
God:Are you serious?  No reason. I’m just trying to keep the conversation going.
Me: this is a bit surrealistic
God:What makes you say that?
Me: you do
God:When do I do it?
Me: whenever
God:You sound sarcastic.
Me: nooooo
God:Are you serious?
Me: always
God:Not that often.
Me: hai sictir
God:Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

(amatorii de conversatii cu za virtual god pot sa faca click aici)

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4 thoughts on “chatting with (i)god

  1. Poate nu era intr-o dispozitie metafizica, poate era la desert si ingera ceva siropos, poate diavolul era in concediu…Poate … e tare rau de tot :))

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